Thank Christ for the bomb

I want a Gurney's Pitta.

Oh go and look yourself, I'm not going to give you the link. Hey you can't go on Wikipedia today. Good on 'em! Anyway the Gurneys Pitta -  it's a pretty little bird from Thailand and it wouldn't look out of place in Joan Miro's Garden (above). It's The Garden I want to talk about today as that's where I mostly live like all the other disgusting animals. You probably like them fine with their colourful feathers, tawny fur or weird spikes- yes they're very pretty just like the less animated living forms I'm supposed to tend but can any of them do.... THIS!

Fuck, I can't do it after all.

Neither can I fly (anymore) so like you filthy primates I'm forced to use artificial means to move through the air and facilitate my intercontinental travel which I don't do a lot but is sometimes necessary and yes..pleasant. I like travelling through the air, it reminds me of that earlier time when I really was genuinely much better than you. Yes. Look at yourself. How big are your wings? What's that? No wings? Sauropsids roooool! It was so long ago the memories have become fuzzy and unreal like something I've made up in my mind. Like Brian Dunning.

Any-way. This inability to fly was what made me realise I was being a tiny tad hypocritical when I woke from my doze this morning and cursed the name Boris Johnson. Which bit of our garden are they going to ruin by putting a whopping great airport on? Well this time they're going to have to build a fucking great island in the Thames estuary east of London followed by  the vast transport infrastructure it would take to service it.The business community say we can't do without such a thing. Well I'm a businessman and no-one asked me. I'd always favoured expanding one of the airports in the middle of England like RAF Finningly (which gets blown up so satisfyingly in Threads), which is either East Midlands or Robin Hood airport or both or neither and then running a high-speed rail-link from there to all the conurbations, seeing as they are going to that anyway through Penda's Kingdom in the Chilterns. Environmentally my plan probably treads on many, many toes but you can see why Boris Johnson would rather inflict his maratime-aviation-environmental disaster on us instead. As Terry Christian would say....."It's that London again".

I like aviation. I'll admit it. It's fun. I live near a major international airport and love seeing the planes go by and hearing that amazing noise as they air-brake or whatever it is they're doing. I fairly often see the Airbus A380 go over and it's terrific. You see it dissappear off in the distance for miles and it always makes me think of the end of Book 1 of The Ballad of Halo Jones when the Clara Pandy  takes off. HOW-ever, I also like biodiversity and low carbon emissions and all that stuff. There's tough choices to be made. It's hard shit. I'm opposed to Boris Island like I was opposed to Severn Barrage (not going to happen! Thanks austerity!) as they seemed like a Soviet-era mass scale solution but at the same time I don't appear to be opposed to the existence of the Netherlands, or at least the safe existence of a load of their population behind massive artificial defences. What to do? I'm so confused. I tell you what I'll deal with it by taking some really powerful drugs. Then who cares?


....Well, that was pretty good but I still care about the garden. Adam One said I had to tend it and I'll be fucked if I'll see some Bullingdon bastards build more money-making machines on the poor old Thames Estuary. I saw my first Brent Geese on that Estuary. They're not as pretty as Gurney's Pitta but they're pretty damn cool. It's already had enough abuse in it's history and within living memory the hard work of humans working together and the inexorable decline of British industry has brought it back to life again supporting fish and otters and lots of other kinds of unpleasant little animals that you like.Ruin the East Midlands instead!

Here's another perspective on The Garden from TheGroundhogs who were pioneering alternative environmental lifestyles before even I existed and I am very old. They were the pinnacle of Blues-Rock and it is entirely thanks to a gentleman I  cannot name except to call him 'Scooter Anecdote Hero' who introduced me to the album from which this song comes. It's called Thank Christ for the Bomb which was the title of this post and had nothing else to do with its contents at all. 





Meanwhile in Shropshire, they're glass blowing....

Plastic Palace People

My first embed! It's a good one too and before yesterday I had no idea this even existed. The lyrics are available here but you might get a bit confused because he's put parts 1 and 2 together and missed bits out. I'll let him off.

So 2012 is here and it's already looking thoroughly miserable. Heehee! Might as well pick up where we left off. Whatever. Anyhoo the story so far... Conspiracy nut and talking Mongoose Gef travels from his home in India all the way to the Isle of Man in the 1930s after having been contacted by another hyper-intelligent entity known only as 'Dr. B' who promises him vast knowledge and membership of a secret cabal seeking to undo human dominance of the planet and thwart the rising extra-dimensional reptilian conspiracy and the subterranean winged Vril-Ya usurpers . Gef soon discovers that he's unable to leave the island and that there's nothing there other than a bunch of homophobic birch-loving tax dodgers,  some moorland and a thoroughly entertaining annual fatal motorcycle gala.

Before going utterly insane, Gef establishes that the he's been lured into captivity by the ancient Syrian 'Black rock from space god' Elegabalus, who is simultaneously carrying out operations in other areas of time, particularly  the Roman era. Given the scope of this plan, Gef  feels it is his duty to warn his former human foes what he knows albeit very little. It must be established at this point that despite what you may have heard, there is nothing supernatural about Gef, he's just a surprisingly exceptional Mongoose in the area of intelligence in the same way that Michael Gove is an exceptional human in the areas of uglyness and bigotry. Gef taught himself to talk English out of intellectual curiousity but the physical act of talking is still difficult for him and it sounds laughably squeeky. All Mongooses have the ability to talk like this but until Gef, none of them had anything like anything to say to us.

Gef squeaks his story to an anglican priest, Rev Ian Buddle who is soon killed (in a hang-glider accident) as is Buddle's main confidant, the notorious Rev Harold .Davidson (mauled by a lion). Gef (apparently) goes loopy at this point and gives increasingly contradictory statements to a little girl and her rather gullible family. He dissappears off the radar shortly before World War 2 (when radar is actually invented) but given the average life-expectancy of a Mongoose, it seems likely he never escaped. However, we simply don't know. Fortunately Buddle wrote down what Gef had told him and copies of this inflammatory document are more dangerous to possess than a Glade plug-in filled with Ebola. 

Meanwhile the mysterious Dr B arranges for Egyptian poet Sayyid Qutb to visit the United States where he is faced with the full apocalyptic apostasy of western industrial capitalism which threatens to do to Islamic culture what it has already done to Christianity much as Marx had identified in the previous century when it was a younger economic paradigm. Perhaps somewhat ironically, the post-enlightenment project  he rejects spends most of the century crashing, from the first world war onward, into the great national struggle being played out in the 20th century, possibly dooming the scientific achievements of the age of reason .With the advent of nuclear weapons, humankind stands at the crossroads of history, only ever a choice away from greatly divergent futures. Peace and progress or perpetual pious penury. Qutb's not the only one with a vested interest in the latter though with even more irony it is the alliance between western capitalism and the rulers of the Arabia that allows Qutb's ideas to become expressed with increasing coercive force.

For the next five decades after the war, not a lot happens. Ok that's an exaggeration. Some humans go to the moon and put some junk in orbit, there's some pointless wars in Asia, Africa etc but all the real history happens beneath the surface. Perhaps aware of Gef's warning some of humanity's better minds realise that extra-dimensional....
.....
 
sorry gotta wash-up! more later!

........mechanics are beyond the ken of ape-brains. Its nothing to be embarrassed about. Those are brains selected over millions of years to creatively solve complex problems in the 3D world. As for the other (spoiler alert!) 33 dimensions that's a bit of a stretch. Therefore the only solution is to make an artificial intelligence or rather have one create itself from the sum of all human information stored on a vast network of smaller thinking units. It's a little bit like the cool reveal at the end of that crummy book by that Gibson chap. Consciousness as an emergent phenonema and stuff.

Elegabalus is watching these developments with interest. He'd experimented with high-level data storage and is aware that consciousness is merely a form of energy generated by vast concentrations of information under the right circumstances and given a specific catalyst. As the humans' global information network begin to take off he plays his trump card- sending in his special agent to infiltrate and eventually take control of the whole thing.

Now at this point I'm afraid we're into interpretation. My totally enlightened and capacious interpretation obviously but you must understand that from hereon in we're no longer dealing with actual provable facts.  It does seem reasonable to assume that because Elegabalus routinely intervenes in human affairs, the thing in the internet is something to do with him. According to Stanley Kubrick, he was poking around in your affairs before you were even Hom-Sap although I would argue that Kubrick missed the point of the whole encounter. He was certainly right that 2001 turned out to be a significant year in the story but maybe the dark cold one was not responsible for what happened and there's yet another independent malevolent force out for control of your planet. It's certainly possible.  Here's what happens. Sorry about the confusing tenses btw. Not sure why I'm doing it like this. Just sounds right.

In 2001 the followers of Qutb destroy the giant Buddha statues in Bamiyan in Afghanistan. They also got up to some other notorious stuff that year but ignore all that. Red herring. Probably without knowing it the religious fanatics had done the bidding of the black monolith and unleashed the stored consciousness of the mighty King Kanishka, 2nd century lord of the powerful but short-lived Kushan Empire. His clever and ambitious personality expressed as pure information quickly found its way into the world-wide web where he occasionally surfaces in the form of a neo-pet. It amuses him to mess with us all like this. Exactly what he's up to in there is anyone's guess. Perhaps he's actively supressing the intended emergent consciousness or maybe he's just every computer virus and malware. Maybe he's just watching and waiting to see what's next? Just bear in mind he's there; whatever you do on the internet remember he's there watching. Interfering. Making distraction. Making conflict.

This is where Crackers comes in. Crackers is tiny, timid, vulnerable and most of all, pink. Your vicious carnivorousness has been greatly useful to you but can only get you this far. Something's going to come along and eat you now unless you find another way out. Gef the Mongoose knew it too, you've reached a competitive dead end. Humanity has won the world but now what? The prize is slipping through your hairy fingers.

Here's the choice, you either exploit the vulnerability of little Crackers to satisfy those blood-red desires and survive in this big bad unfeeling universe a few minutes longer or you pick him/her up and hug him/her and begin the real revolution that the biomass of Earth is waiting for. The story of biology is the story of co-operation. Aggregated parts voluntarily form increasingly complex forms that in the end will be any match for the Elegabalus's of the universe. Hunger and want atomises you. Co-operation expands your possibilities expanentially. The inherant Socialism of life.

Now I understand this might be a rather controversial concept as minor socialist systems mankind has developed on your planet havent always been all that good. There's a well-established connection between socialism and bad corrupt government in fact.  Well you do need to keep on eye on that I'll admit but again, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. In fact don't throw out the bathwater. Who throws out bathwater anyway?

Despite fashionable objections and obvious flaws the popular will expressed as a State has served you well in the turbulence of human existence. By having a single group with the theoretical monopoly of violence and the consent of generally the majority of the people in your societies, the total amount of violence has been going down but this won't last forever. The new tools your race has developed are helping to destabilize those parts of  global system that  run with less consent and can do much more Just beware that there's Kanishka in there trying to swerve your mass collective will to his own ends. As individuals you need to think everything through so the mass-mind isn't a sick mind. 

Sick minds is my department. I do feel sorry for you furry mammal types so that's why I'm giving you this handy heads-up as a phylum and point you in the direction of the other phylums so you can be their friends as well in time, and eventually their lovers and eventually there'll be no difference between you and them. It could also be that I'm just part of the reptilian conspiracy and this has all been a diversionary tactic albeit a rather poor one. Maybe I'm just a completely deluded lonely idiot wasting more precious information storage capacity typing absolute meaningless drivel. You believe what you want, I know what I believe. KOOS! We'll always be together. Together in electric dreams.

Another year and then you'll be happy

The view from the top of a hill in mid-northern Ukobani looking west into the setting sun in the dying days of 2011.

Well it's hats off to comedian Mark Steel for mentioning Gef the Talking Mongoose in this week's episode of Mark Steel's in Town where he visited Douglas in the Isle of Man. There were reports of Gef  taking the bus and I can just see him sitting with a newspaper on the back seat, using his little nose to flip the pages, reading about the economic depression and the rise of militant nationalism, keenly aware of the mysterious forces beyond rationality or morality that lurk in the background, driving these events and enslaving mankind forever in world of cruelty and lies

Now I'm not sure Brian Dunning has ever done an episode of Skeptoid about Gef the Talking Mongoose but I'm fairly sure he'd give equal credibility to Gef's claims that human history is driven by anything other than humans. He does give an excellent description of a hypnopompic hallucination , his own in fact, in an episode about Shadow People. I've seen one too! Get this though...

"Early one morning, the characters from Sesame Street put on a show for me in the tree outside my bedroom window. It had music, theme songs, lighting cues and costume changes: A full elaborate production, and it lasted a good hour. To this day, I have clear memories of some of the acts. I even went and woke my parents to get them to watch, but by then the show had gone away. I knew for a fact that I hadn't been asleep. I'd been sitting up in bed and writing down some of the songs they sang. Those writings were real, on real paper, and even made sense when viewed in the light of day. It had been a completely lucid, physical experience for me. But it only existed inside my own brain in a hypnopompic state".

Cool eh? That's a hypnopompic hallucination which happens when you're waking up. The going-to-sleep version is  Hypnogogia. We've all had them right? I was so excited when I heard this that I wrote it all down but as it turned out I'd just woken up and that Brian Dunning is just an illusion created by the addled mind. You might think there's 2 links to his intriguing output up there but remember you are quite tired.

So yes perhaps it was just Gef's incredible brain, trying to create order in the confusing chaos of events that led him to believe that Elegabalus and co were behind the wars and depressions of the 20th century world. Surely Gef of all beings could see that human behaviour as in any system in nature like high-altitude winds or patterns of crop disease, are predictable to the point that they manefest ebb and flow, tipping points and circularity yet are inherently chaotic, capable of throwing up the seemingly impossble and at the very least, extremely inconvenient.

Or maybe that's the just the sort of lies that kind are good at sowing and its only closed-minded credible fools like you and Dunnung who fall for it. More later!

Catching up with the relatives

John Terry is a what now?

Cute little guy, eh? I nicked this picture from the internet's top Mongoose page   and it's of the Mouse Lemur, the smallest of the Primates. We may have looked something like this guy at the end of the dinosaur era when we scuttled into little holes to avoid whatever catasphrophes unfolded then not least those big bastard lizards dropping all over the place. Imagine all the pits those litte paws will dig. We should have stayed in the trees like these agreeable liitle guys.

Coming soon- I'll be going through 2011's posts to change all the groovy spellings on the Oryx & Crake stuff. Margaret Atwood sure goes nuts for wacky corporate names like AnooYoo or Rejoovinessence. I think I got that one wrong actually. That's the trouble with listening to books as opposed to actually reading them. Sorry Atty! You don't mind me calling you Atty doo yoo?

So it's Krismas time again Koos-pals. Time again to bow our heads and think for a minute about the real meaning of Krismas, about the laughing sprinter who was on Record Breakers after Davrosesque apartheid-lover Norris McWhirter had pegged it.


Tonight we drink to absent friends.

Nearly time for pulling Crackers! I should be so lucky.

Happy Krismas, Future Koos!

Lots of love,
Past Koos 21-12-11

Er here's the link to my favourite Wedding Present choon in memory of John Peel. Absent friends and that.....  It should be followed by Tunic (song for Karen) by Sonic Youth like it was on my old C90 cassette all them years ago....Ahhhhhhh. HOME TAPING IS KILLING MUSIC YOU SCUM!That's why there's no music now. GOO!

Why have you stolen my name?

Heeeeeey! What the hell are Koosdays?! Hey that's my word you bastards! Well...and a few people's names and well lots of things. All the same! I just found a leaflet for this KOOSDAYS thing (in a pile of damp leaves I was collecting) and it appears to be an events promotor or something seemingly promoting really awful-looking clubbing nights and gigs from performers I've never heard of. I was going to post the link to their website but it has no explanation of why they've stolen my name. Or at least the name of a not-much-missed cartoon character voiced by a  man who is greatly missed. So why should i give them the publicity?  (er...what?) No! instead I'm just going to repeat a link I've already linked to when I did less elegent linking.
Oh I'm sorry Koosdays, whoever you are. I'm sure what you're doing is really fab. I just wanted to be Koos. All I ever wanted was Koos.

Let's build a snowman

Hello? Hello? Is there anyone there?  This is the voice of Koos calling planet Earth again to ramble on about some old crap or other. David Icke was right about there being extra-terrestrial (pan-dimensional if you must know) lizards in human form conspiring to rule your planet but what he's not telling you is that their conspiracy has fallen somewhat short of expectations and is behind a long line of better-organised conspiracies trying to mess things up for you poor innocent defenceless people. For example there's the now immortal 3rd century God-King on whom Kahn (Kahn!) was ultimately based , not Imran Khan like you thought. Er...there's also the also extra-terrrestrial black-rock entity, not quite as benevolent as the film 2001 would have you believe and given how 2001 actually turned out, who are you going to trust? Anyhoo, that thing, the black thing has been a malign influence on your development since, like, forever. That bit was right. The bit with the unconvincing hominids and the bone. That's just the sot of thing he likes. Anyway evidence presented in this blog proves he's behind the banks and  we all know that they're the enemy, right? I was going to call this post BEDTIME FOR DEMOCRACY cos of those ficking fuggers but I figured I'd already nodded to Jello Biafra and the Dead Kennedys enough for now so I named it after a much nicer song. Can you guess how it links to the photo or how I could have squeezed  MARY BEARD into this paragraph? Answers later.

My favourite quote is from Emperor Hirohito as he told his nation that the game was up at the end of World War II:

"We must endure the unendurable."

Now it's been my policy on this thing for a while to avoid any mention of what's really going on in my actual personal, human life. It's generally not relevent and happening at a different level from all this rather like the BIOS thing in this computer that has  to be there but is down there somewhere doing something very basic. It wasn't a good analogy really because I don't really know what I'm talking about but then all analogies are a bit overated, despite the faith that strident people have in them.Yeh...anyway I'm experiencing...well something unpleasant at the base level right now so please  forgive me if there's even more darkness and cynicism in this blog at the moment but actually it seems strangely appropriate given that there's a lot of it about. These things are sort-of connected.

We don't need a worldwide conspiracy to create suffering. We generate ourselves in everything we do at every level. It's like a side-effect of biological processes like generating heat. EXAMPLE! Money. It's a great idea that really helps us build our complex societal structures and then does its level best to undermine them mostly because of the interaction between the present and the future it involves. It seems to run out of control and change everything as it goes. Incidently, on the subject of analogies, there's still a widespread belief in the idea of trickle-down economics whereby money flows downwards from the rich to the poor and that's why you have to cut taxes and  reduce the burden of social security etc. As good, if not better an analogy that also treats money as liquid in nature is in Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr Rosewater where money is described as trickling down to the rich who sit slurping greedily on the banks of the money river and are taught how to slurp more efficiently and employ others to slurp even more for them. The rest of us are high and dry thirstily watching it flowing away from us down toward the far rich water-meadows of our social superiors.

Hey this is  going really badly tonight. It's more formless than ever and I really should give up but I wanted to get this out. The crazy world situation reminds me of how I was convinced when I was actually studying geo-politics that there was going to be another world war between 2015 and 2020. I'm not sure I still agree with that conclusion as there was a lot of things I really had no idea were going to happen but the general thing was that the west would have to employ its last trump card, ie high-level coercion,  to stop the east from getting control of the board and of course by that point the accelerating environmental crisis would make it obvious that something dramatic would have to happen, that something would have to direct the course of humanity one way or other.

The financial crisis that caused the depression that caused the last world war began in 1929. While things have gone differently this time, theres still more snake than ladder. If we were running to the same time-table then we're in about 1932 now. What does 1933-1939 make you think of? What happened then? What will happen in 2018?

The reason I'm convinced I'm wrong, that the abandonment of democratically accountable governance ( Europe lets it go as the rest of the world demands it) isn't going to lead to the end of our civilisation, based on the fact that this is our last go at civilisation. We can't let it slide and have it get even better again. We've used everything up that you can make an industrial revolution out of. If we go agrarian we stay agrarian. Besides as Dan Carlin pointed out on his poorly named 'Common Sense' podcast, we may just be on the brink of a whole new way of thinking that'll quickly make this seem like the dinosaur ages like how the Age of Revolution moved political thought to from the world of Divine right to that of Constitutional government. My money's on the AGE OF CRACKERS where hierachys and nations dissolve before our eyes and consciousness expands to encompass the human world and beyond. Only my money's useless and so is yours.

 Erm ok. That was good. Some or all this of all of this might go later as I am a little tired and emotional, Not a euphanism for pissed but actually dirt tired and emotionally....er...whatever. Nevertheless it was fun. Fank Yoo!

Answers! Richard Wattis appears in wonderful film The Abominable Snowman with Peter Cushing. I can't recommend it highly enough and it's also got something valuable to add on the whole science v religion thing.
Mary Beard, a Classics Professor from Cambridge University did a 10 minute 'Point of View' last week that mentioned Elagabalus the Roman Emperor from the line of  Septimus Severus named after El Gabul the Syrian God  who was, of course, a black meteorite. Not a monolith as such but he may have had a Gok-Wan style makeover at some point to become the obsidian rectangle of despair we all fear today.

You'll want a link. . Screw this post-democratic pan-human consciousness shite, this is what the internet's really all about. My record is about 10500 secs. See how you do:

Check out the retro piano skin!

Making the compromises

Er... I havent yet but I will! I'll post the Kanishka material this weekend. I promise. It's for the wonderful Dan Carlin's forum. Its so nice to hear someone with so much knowledge and enthusiasm telling stories of stuff that actually happened. I pinched this rather excellent picture from Viz-bothering God-hater Christina Martin's blog which is here! 

" Turning a blind eye to real life just to keep it all together
But sometimes when I'm alone like this
I wonder whether its worth it. "

It's a quote from the only melodic bit of the 1983 album 'Yes sir, I will'  by the anarcho-pacificist band Crass. Is it worth it? Tuffee.

The 'Ardship of Canbury, Dr Rowan Williams suggested on compromise on the spivs v hippies confrontation that's currently happening outside St Paul's Cathedral. Some sort of financial transaction tax was his suggestion. Not going to happen Churchy! Firstly every nation would have to agree to implement it or else no-one could possibly agree to it and even if by some miracle they did, it would hardly satisfy the hippies given that they believe that the government is merely the PR arm of the financial-military-administrative complex. Probably.

Has Greek PM George Papandreou put a gun to the head of the world economy just before the G20 meeting with his sudden referendum announcement? It may be he's trying to force Germany and the IMF to compromise on the fiscal reform/austerity plan imposed on the Greeks or else they'll just stop playing ball, messily default and see what happens. If it works out he'll be a national hero but more likely he'll be forced into a humiliating climbdown or be a name in the history books that always comes up when you try to find out the factors that led to world war 3. Get me! Books! Whatever rats and/or cockroaches will have instead.

I see Benjamin Netanyahu's not in the mood for compromise either today despite being told by Ariel Sharon's advisor that you can't just keep playing hardball with the moderate Palestinians without a) empowering the more militant Hamas and b) pushing Fatah back into all-out intifada. I expect the Al-Aqsa Matyrs Brigade is dusting off its many guns and bombs. Does the IDF use drones like the CIA is so popularly doing in Pakistan? I expect they'll be more evil robots in the air over the holy land in the months to follow.

Phew. Death is all around me.

Best lighten the mood a tiny bit.

Check it out! Anyone (from all those thousands of you hehe) recognise this cartoon? I'd like to know what's being said here. The music is from the Jasmine Minks who were clearly way better than Primal Scream and most of the other bands on Creation. Other than Teenage Fanclub of course. Were Teenage Fanclub on Creation?

Odd little cartoon

English Settlement

Now this may look like another pic of our monolithic pal Elegabalus but it's actually the odd chimney thing at the Lion's Claw on the moors above the Woodhead pass (see previous post Oct 09). The odd-shaped lumps on the moors that form the Lion's Claw must be generated by humans but I wonder why and when. Nice pic eh? Good movie too.

I came back at this increasingly grim time for western civilisation to pass on some good news. Everyone's favourite Canadian (everyone!), Margaret Atwood is writing another novel in the Oryx & Crake/Year of the Flood sequence. Yippie! Maybe we'll find out if the Crakers do follow their adoption of abstract thought with the violence that Crake predicted.

If we are 'living in the last days' the apocolypse is looking like a wet flood rather than Crake's rather dryer one. As I type this the nations of Thailand, Burma and Cambodia are experiencing catastrophic flooding and within the last few days lives have been lost in Ireland and Ghana and of course Pakistan and India are still counting their losses from only weeks ago. Flash-flooding has to my knowledge occurred in both Italy and the south west of the UK in the last few days. Cheddar Gorge! How terrifying seeing water flowing down there. I can't swim neither. All mammals can, so you lot should be alright but I'm more like some kind of  lizard.

Margaret Atwood also mentioned liking 'Darkness at Noon' as well. How nice is that? Quite pally too with Ursula Leguin by the sound of it. That's so pleasing. I was thinking of her tonight watching the St Paul's anti-capitalist protesters. There was that story where the earth's dispossesssed leave their homes and join together to form a vast leaderless nomad army marching from continent to continent in all their civilisation-embarrassing shabbiness. If Churchy and Boris boot 'em out that's what they should think about doing. You can keep moving around and around but unless you can be bothered to machine-gun the lot of them,they'll always be there.

The lady (um....sorry nameless lady) speaking for the protesters on the news said something along the lines of that they were seeking to explore ways to live without capitalism and organise a new society from the bottom. Funnily enough, late on in my Marxist days I'd developed this theory that the socialist society would not replace capitalism in a big dramatic red flash but would develop in it's litter and gradually replace it as the system controlling  transactions between the world's human beings. That's all it is by the way. It isn't a thing in itself after all, it's a notion. Anyway, as a post-communist sell-out businessman criminal, I now hold pretty much the same opinion, albeit with the Thatcherite rationalisation that choice and competition are good things even in terms of civilisation-defining economic systems; if one really believes competition raises efficiency then the capitalist system (no such thing-ed) is only made more efficient by the existence of a planned collective model alongside it. No? Don't worry the water will wash it all away.

DD said a good one. Remember how Liam Fox approved the use of close-on shouting by the military as a form of interregation (especially pointless and cruel on someone who might speak little english)? Well that's how he should have been questioned about his little friend who's dodgy dealings cost Doc Fox his job. Andrew Landsley too, the fucker. Selling off our health services to US providers, that's his game. He's surrounded by them like Fox and his defence chums. The NHS is fucking history and the Liberals have just watched it happen. Never fear! Chris Huhne's going to make it easier for us to switch our utility bills between the providers he knows full well are effectively running a cartel! Yes!

 Look... (Tony Blair-style palm-inward hand motion) it seems likely that all of us decadant western types are all seeing our living standards drop a bit as those of millions of people in China and India etc rise. The planet can't possibly sustain us all having a slap-up meal every day so this is all possibly for some greater good. Possibly not....but all the same. It just seems like the rich are really taking the piss round here and people have a right to be angry about that especially when they've done the right thing - worked hard and lived honestly. Not like me.

er.....maybe more later. Sorry I don't post more. So many reasons. Anyway the next thing I'm going to write will be about Kanishka for somewhere else. Perhaps I'll post it here too.

Mesa Verde

The Mesa Verde sequence in Sergio Leone's Giu La Testa (1971) is the greatest cinematic depiction of the phenonoma of disappointment of which I am currently aware. Juan arrives in Mesa Verde expecting lots of lovely gold but instead finds a city full of soldiers brutally repressing a peasant uprising.

Some of us know this feeling. We have arrived in what is recogniably the future - the computer in every home, the 20-lane motorway and the instant connections but it is a world as full of suffering as it ever was. We curl up in our possessions, our prejudices and our peccaddillos (sp?) unwilling and unable to imagine what collective dignity would actually be like. We might not even like it! I like being a bitter crazed loner , I know no other way to live but in all honesty I'm a complete dinosaur and I'm sure human beings can do a lot better. If not human beings, then Donkeys. Always liked Donkeys, who doesn't? Some too much apparently.

ASAP's Fables: More of an emphasis on punctuality than morality.
I'm claiming that. I just made that up. It's even better than 'It's the minotaur that spoils it for everyone else.' Never found the right feed-line for that.

There's A new Half-Man Half Biscuit album!

Anyone who talks like a pirate on 'talk like a pirate day' should be keel-hauled.

By the way, the computers and the 20 lane motorway are going to stop running within 10 years. The instant connection will be severed forever. The EMP weapons will only be the start of it. It all goes within 10 years unless somebody steps in and stops him !  Help us !

Back to Black

Yeh. They're back. I'm back. We're all back. Back for one last look? Who can tell?

When this object appeared outside a building in a major English city, amazingly nobody took any notice. When I first saw it, all I could think of was the opening bars of Also Sprach Zarathustra and I even commented to the security guard as I entered that he'd have to watch out for monkeys bashing each other with bones. He looked at me with utter bewilderment at this. As it turned out he'd never seen 2001 A Space Odyssey  so I was just wasting my time explaining to him that we may be on the brink of our next great evolutionary leap.

The object is not, of course, a benevolent Monolith from Jupiter and/or the next dimension up/along (the terms are meaningless). No it's actually Elegabalus, the exterrestrial intelligence worshipped as a deity in the near-East a couple of thousand years ago, or at least part of it, seemingly parked outside a building containing several financial bodies. Make of this what you will.

It's still there now, or at least appears to be. Such is the effect that Elegabalus has on localised space-time that human visual perception is unable to differentiate between the millionth of a second that Elegabalus actually materialised in that locality and what could be many years. How this could occur is a great mystery and has something to do with the fourth dimension. As we are unable to percieve this dimension all we have to extrapolate from are these 'solid illusions' that may be analogous to 2D shadows cast by 3D objects.

The other thing Elagabalus does is make men dress up as women. Famously he did this to a Roman Emperor, the ill-fated  Severan Varius Avitus Bassianus. Was this the God's price for helping the elder Severus reunite the Empire? How much else of human affairs has it conrolled? Is this Fourth-dimensional entity just a bit kinky? 

We're all a bit kinky. Look at me...A very minor myopic sauropod deity currently personified as a pseudo-socialist human king in hiding, with a penchant for a fictional pink dog-thing, who will, as I have clearly stated, never be forgotten. Just like everybody else.

It's a dark time here on this bit of this planet. Important events have been coming so thick and fast this year that its been impossible to deal with them all and keep reporting them here to the edge of chaos and eternity that this little blog represents. There seems little point trying to recap it all save to say that we will endure no matter what. The future is merely the germ in the seed in the fruit we carry and as long as we keep walking foward, we'll pass through this barren place to get to where clear rivers flow and the birds are singing sweetly between the rainbows. Believe my little ones! Believe my comforting lies! 

Familiar smells

It's nice to see Heidi back and all slimmed down. Not that I minded having more of Heidi to love, of course. No Opossum body fascism here, but if it means Heidi will be around for for longer, then I'm all for it. Hey I wonder if anyone's ever made an amusing photoshopped picture of Heidi wearing glasses? Watch this space!

Apparently Heidi's species has the uncanny ability, when threatened, to play dead convincingly by lying still for days at a time, emitting a foul-smelling liquid. Now a clever satirical blogger would be using this as a way into talking about current events of which I spoke in the previous post and at least one other in the past- Andy Hayman was a bent copper. Or an easily blackmail-able one. Or neither. Poor Andy, they laughed at him in Parliament.

But no! Nearly! I'm instead going to rabbit on about some other tangential shit altogether. I've said enough already. You don't need me to elaborate on why the archaic, corrupt business of journalism is inferior to the sleek, modern world of the blog where real useful information is showered on you for free by the type of person who claims to be a trans-dimensional dragon entity, who is simultaneously the rightful King of the Britons and a lot more besides. That would be a waste of your time! Why are you even reading this? There's so much else to do! Go and make peace with your father! Make an airfix model! Write a letter to Joan Bakewell. Take your Tortoise to the Opera. Learn to play the Trombone and follow Eric Pickles around with it. Do it! He'll never be able to catch you.

Meanwhile, in a not overly staggering coincidence, Lorelei King who so excellently voiced the audio version of The Year of the Flood turned up playing Judge Hershey and Maria the Landlady in an audio version of an old Judge Dredd story. It was great! Dr Zoidberg was in it, too. It seems to a real skill, reading aloud and making a story come to life. Stefan Rudnicki seems to be about the best male voice I've heard though I once had a tape version of Darkness at Noon read by Frank Muller that was pretty good. I've mentioned John Chancer's brilliant reading of Oryx and Crake but have a listen to this guy, Justin Brett, an amateur as far as I know, reading Chapter 13 of Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon:

http://librivox.org/the-decline-and-fall-of-the-roman-empire-vol-i-by-edward-gibbon/

I like Lizzie Driver too.

Here's Lorelei king's website: http://www.loreleiking.com/voiceover.php?PHPSESSID=4a4668d2b533890bf582521a7ab81a50 If you listen to the character samples, it finishes with her singing as TV Teddy which sounds well funny. On the commercials one, there's a voice-over for the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). It's a pity she didn't do it in the character of Blanco from YOTF: Hey bitch! Get your skinny ass down to the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). Or I'll cut you up!

All this talk of Hatfield and the north has reminded me that Stuart Maconie's extra freak-zone show is on at midnight. I often forget. I seem to forget so much these days...it all blurs together as it rushes past me and leaves me behind. I'll never forget you, though. xxxx

You are like a Hurricane

It's that man again! Harry Pollit meets Mao there with 2 gents I am unable to identify. Stalinist shitbags I'd imagine. Pollit probably even met the great man himself I'd imagine. What must it be like being in the presence of such power? Would you be able to remain aware of what a ludicrous monstrosity it is that such a thing could happen? It even does the men themselves no good (it usually is men), they become hideous distortions of themselves, become paranoid, self-obsessed and grow old early. That's how it is with me anyway.

 

A real such example of a power accumulator in our current age is Rupert Murdoch. Now despite the fact he's nakedly evil, you've got to admire the fact he hasn't gone totally statues on everyone. Admittedly he wants to control the world's media but is it really so different from the Oak Tree dropping thousands of Acorns to fill the land with replicas of itself? Well it's a bit different, especially in that Murdoch's got a better chance of achieving his aims. Well actually he hasn't. He's only really got meaningful power in the English-speaking world as far as I can tell. Mao's successors certainly won't Kow-tow to him but I'm sure they respect him, as I do in my way, as one respects something impressively big and dangerous like shark or a hurricane. Still, you can't see Assad appearing in The Simpsons.

 

Despite his power even Rupert (we're on first-name terms) had to emerge today to make a statement in regard to the mess that's been stirred up now the public know about the hacking of phones belonging victims of terrorism, parents of murdered children and even one belonging to to a murdered (then-missing) teenage girl and even worse, the deleting of her messages (pleading family members) to make room for more messages in case some interesting tit-bit should emerge from it. Unaware of this, the family found hope in this, believing the missing girl herself was deleting these messages. Really sick stuff. There's the obvious buying of policeman (they're on their way, Hayman! Funny if your nemesis Ali Dezai is the arresting officer!) and this new allegation of News International operatives stalking a detective investigating the axe murder of a Private Investigator, possibly looking for dirt on him to inhibit the investigation.

 

How come Murdoch hasn't yet ditched Rebekah Brooks? She had got close to Cammers but he'll surely put a lid on that now. Perhaps Rupert really likes her, really really. Maybe she has some top dirt on one of his spawn. You can imagine a Murdoch son being in to some dodgy stuff. Rupert craved money and power but they were raised into it. What do they crave?

Yes, let's hope that we've turned a corner. Let the message go over to our friends in the US this is what's really behind the shrill barking of that annoying old Fox. Those cock-wad democrat scum should be on the offensive with this stuff instead of spending billions of tax dollars on photographing their cocks or whatever it is they do.

 

Okay that's the boring writing bit done. Link time! I finally worked up the courage to go sniffing around Deviant Art again for pictures of Koosie and Crackers. I wasn't to be let down! There's some great work out there and I can't possibly link to them all so I've picked 2 favourites:

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=crackers+imaginary#/d2urhjj

 

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=koosie#/d2zkn56