Familiar smells

It's nice to see Heidi back and all slimmed down. Not that I minded having more of Heidi to love, of course. No Opossum body fascism here, but if it means Heidi will be around for for longer, then I'm all for it. Hey I wonder if anyone's ever made an amusing photoshopped picture of Heidi wearing glasses? Watch this space!

Apparently Heidi's species has the uncanny ability, when threatened, to play dead convincingly by lying still for days at a time, emitting a foul-smelling liquid. Now a clever satirical blogger would be using this as a way into talking about current events of which I spoke in the previous post and at least one other in the past- Andy Hayman was a bent copper. Or an easily blackmail-able one. Or neither. Poor Andy, they laughed at him in Parliament.

But no! Nearly! I'm instead going to rabbit on about some other tangential shit altogether. I've said enough already. You don't need me to elaborate on why the archaic, corrupt business of journalism is inferior to the sleek, modern world of the blog where real useful information is showered on you for free by the type of person who claims to be a trans-dimensional dragon entity, who is simultaneously the rightful King of the Britons and a lot more besides. That would be a waste of your time! Why are you even reading this? There's so much else to do! Go and make peace with your father! Make an airfix model! Write a letter to Joan Bakewell. Take your Tortoise to the Opera. Learn to play the Trombone and follow Eric Pickles around with it. Do it! He'll never be able to catch you.

Meanwhile, in a not overly staggering coincidence, Lorelei King who so excellently voiced the audio version of The Year of the Flood turned up playing Judge Hershey and Maria the Landlady in an audio version of an old Judge Dredd story. It was great! Dr Zoidberg was in it, too. It seems to a real skill, reading aloud and making a story come to life. Stefan Rudnicki seems to be about the best male voice I've heard though I once had a tape version of Darkness at Noon read by Frank Muller that was pretty good. I've mentioned John Chancer's brilliant reading of Oryx and Crake but have a listen to this guy, Justin Brett, an amateur as far as I know, reading Chapter 13 of Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon:

http://librivox.org/the-decline-and-fall-of-the-roman-empire-vol-i-by-edward-gibbon/

I like Lizzie Driver too.

Here's Lorelei king's website: http://www.loreleiking.com/voiceover.php?PHPSESSID=4a4668d2b533890bf582521a7ab81a50 If you listen to the character samples, it finishes with her singing as TV Teddy which sounds well funny. On the commercials one, there's a voice-over for the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). It's a pity she didn't do it in the character of Blanco from YOTF: Hey bitch! Get your skinny ass down to the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). Or I'll cut you up!

All this talk of Hatfield and the north has reminded me that Stuart Maconie's extra freak-zone show is on at midnight. I often forget. I seem to forget so much these days...it all blurs together as it rushes past me and leaves me behind. I'll never forget you, though. xxxx